Shock news has leaked out today, that the Tories were considering replacing Prime Minister Dave Comedian, with a Parrot for todays PMQs. A spokesman for the parrot said, it was a non-starter, as Gideon the Parrot has quite an intellectual reputation to maintain, and Gideon feels that standing in for Dave would be a retrograde step.

A Tory spokesman said, “we were all for it, but we felt that when Dave returned to the role, he might find it hard to compete intellectually with that level of speaker”.